Bolton, no bacon

Having just watched the News Hour, I have some thoughts on Nancy Pelosi, which I'll share some other time (mostly to the effect of, "If reciting talking points is going to make her so visibly nervous, maybe she should just not, unless she has no thoughts of her own, in which case, why is she Minority Leader?"), but right now I really need to get off my chest four crucial questions about UN ambassador John Bolton:

1. Is that or is it not a toupee? My money's on yes.

2. It's not so much the mustache, as the mustache WITH the toupee that's a problem. Not that I'm excusing the mustache, because yuck (see question 4).

3. Why do older, jowly men insist on fastening their collars so tight that their jowls spill over their shirts? In particular, why do they continue to do this despite repeated opportunities to see themselves on television and thus view the evidence of their error?

4. Does anyone -- really, anyone -- think this guy has answers to genocide? I mean, look at his toupee! Look at his facial hair! If you had sympathy for your fellow human being, would you create such a brutally rectangular mustache? I think not.