Midterm Madness: South Dakota Edition

One of the problems with this particular midterm election is that, with so many congressional seats in play, it's almost impossible to keep on top of governor's races and ballot measures in the far-flung provinces. Thankfully, here at the Bacon Nation (don't you find yourself putting "the" in front of every noun these days, in homage to Bush and "the Google"? If not, start) we have Reader M to keep us informed. So, in today's Spotlight on Democracy Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong, I offer South Dakota's Amendment E.

Amendment E is the brainchild of an asshole named Ron Branson, who's from California, not South Dakota, and who has tried to get this piece of shit on ballots in other states and, mercifully, failed. But apparently, South Dakotans enjoy ruining the hallmarks of American democracy -- the right to equal protection under the law; the right to a fair trial -- and so enough of them signed a petition for this measure that they got it onto the November ballot. What does Amendment E say? It attempts to curb "activist judges" by instituting a special grand jury, impanelled specifically to hear complaints by citizens against judges who they think have wronged them.

Yeah, that's right. The entire appellate process is apparently insufficient to hear the grievances of those who get legal outcomes they don't like. In South Dakota, you or I (were we stupid enough ever to live there) could decide that we didn't like a judge's decision, or attitude, or look, and we could force him or her to come to court and do some 'splaining. With the possibility -- I shit you not -- of actually trying these judges on criminal charges, based entirely on the Special Grand Jury's assessment of (in a horrible parroting of the language of Article III of the US Constitution) "law and fact". Don't believe me? Take a look:

Should the Special Grand Jury also find probable cause of criminal conduct on the part of any judge against whom a complaint is docketed, it shall have the power to indict such judge, except where double jeopardy attaches. The Special Grand Jury shall, without voir dire beyond personal impartiality, relationship, or linguistics, cause to be impaneled twelve special trial jurors, plus alternates, which trial jurors shall be instructed that they have power to judge both law and fact. The Special Grand Jury shall also select a non-governmental special prosecutor and a judge with no more than four years on the bench from a county other than that of the defendant judge, to maintain a fair and orderly proceeding. The trial jury shall be selected from the same pool of jury candidates as any regular jury. The special prosecutor shall thereafter prosecute the cause to a conclusion, having all the powers of any other prosecutor within this State. Upon conviction, sentencing shall be the province of the special trial jury, and not that of the selected judge. Such sentence shall conform to statutory provisions.

Got that? The Special Grand Jury brings the charges; the trial jury cannot be properly voir dired as they would be in any criminal trial; in fact the only provision of impartiality is to pick a new judge from far away -- someone who doesn't know the judge on trial and who has a newly evolved sense of his post-Amendment E place in the world. I dare you to read the whole thing -- it's blood-curdling. The pro-E people even have a website called "jail4judges", just in case you missed the message: these people don't want justice, they want vengeance. And I say all this despite the fact that South Dakota, as a red state, almost certainly has more judges offensive to me than to the originators of this measure. But can you imagine a world in which any disgruntled citizen is entitled to bring charges against any judge? Do very many of us find ourselves in front of a judge because things are going well for us? How likely is it that many people are happy about the experience? If they pass this thing, South Dakota is going to drown in a whole new version of the frivolous lawsuit -- and it will serve them right.

One of these days, Americans are going to get the democracy they deserve, and this thing is just one step closer. But hey, don't despair -- if we're lucky, chasing judges around will keep the South Dakota prosecutors too busy to arrest the victims of rape and incest whose abortions will probably become illegal on Tuesday.

PS I wish I could tell you how this measure is polling, but the only numbers were sponsored by the Pro-E people through a Zogby push-poll. So when I tell you they got a 67% favorable result you will perhaps not be totally shocked, and also not totally convinced.